Chris Paradiso Wrote Civilized Savage for His Kids and Found a Team That Listened to Understand
“But I think the most important thing I got from Scribe is people that listened. Listened to understand. They didn’t listen to hear.”
Chris Paradiso, author of Civilized Savage
Chris Paradiso is the founder of Paradiso Insurance, a former college athlete, and the kind of person who runs 48 miles overnight in 29 degree cold. He wrote Civilized Savage: The Daily War Against Comfort first for his two children. He fired three people before Scribe, then found a team that listened to understand, and he is already coming back for the next book.
Winning is endless
Clip · Chris Paradiso on why winning is endless · 39s
The book starts on a night Chris has never forgotten. He scored 49 points and set a school record in an overtime win, and his father drove past the McDonald’s he had promised and took him back to the gym to shoot 100 free throws. It took Chris years to understand the lesson.
“Yeah, because winning is endless. I might have won that basketball game, but when I go to bed that night and wake up in the morning, I’m not a winner anymore.”
— Chris Paradiso
Every day, in his father’s view, the score resets. Chris turned that into a rule for his own family, one that leaves no room for losing.
“You win or you learn, but you never lose.”
— Chris Paradiso
A life dictionary for his kids
Clip · Chris Paradiso on what his son said about the book · 38s
Chris could have kept living the example in front of his children, Mia and Johnny. He wanted something they could hold. Part of the reason was his father: in the years his dad was sick, Chris drove hours to the hospital and at one point lived with him in his hospital room for two and a half weeks, listening to stories he calls invaluable.
“So, you know, I just think it’s critical that I write all of this down for my kids to understand why. Why we are a little different and why it’s OK to be different and why it’s OK to challenge.”
— Chris Paradiso
The book has already reached its first reader. Chris’s son is at Marine Corps boot camp on Parris Island, and he can explain why he chose the Marines over the Army.
“He said, Dad, I read your book. And an easy life isn’t worth living, is what Nono said, you’ve always taught it to me. But he said, when I read it in the book, it really stuck with me.”
— Chris Paradiso
Showing up is nothing
Clip · Chris Paradiso on why showing up is none of the battle · 37s
Chapter three of Civilized Savage is called “Showing Up Is Nothing,” and it takes aim at one of the phrases Chris hears almost every day.
“Showing up is none of the battle. How you show up and how you take action is what really matters.”
— Chris Paradiso
His father had a word for the alternative. A prosecutor who went to Holy Cross and Georgetown Law, he never said “loser.” He said “banger,” for anyone who starts something and does not finish.
“Whatever you do. Don’t just show up. Remember, we talked about just showing up, show up and do it to the best of your ability and a part of that don’t be a banger was don’t try your best, do your best.”
— Chris Paradiso
Burn the backup plan
Clip · Chris Paradiso on burning the backup plan · 48s
The same logic runs through the book’s case against plan B.
“How can you give a hundred percent of option A, if you already know you have an option B?”
— Chris Paradiso
Underneath it is his faith. Chris’s measure of success is standing before God and knowing he used every bit of the talent he was given, and his answer to fear is three words: faith over fear.
The team that listened to understand
Clip · Chris Paradiso on a team that listened to understand · 34s
Getting the book written was its own fight. Chris went through three people before he came to Scribe.
“First of all, Scribe is very professional. I got to work with some really ridiculously good people. I did. I’m not sugarcoating it. I fired three people prior, not with Scribe.”
— Chris Paradiso
What changed was how the Scribe team listened.
“Because the other three people, I can assure you, they listened to hear and really, I mean, I probably have eight versions of this book. But only one will be released on the 27th.”
— Chris Paradiso
Chris also put his writer through one of the book’s ideas. To show that your mind tells you to quit long before your body is done, he asked his team lead to do pushups until she could not do any more, then offered her a brand new iPhone for two more. Then he had his writer do the same.
“And then I made [my writer] do it. Who’s helping me put my thoughts in writing and really working with me. And he says, I get the point after he did it. And that that piece there, I think, brought us together really, really well”
— Chris Paradiso
Already writing the next one
Clip · Chris Paradiso on coming back to Scribe for book two · 11s
Civilized Savage came out on October 27th in hardcover and paperback, with an audiobook in the works. Chris is not done. He has about 50 to 60 more “societal lies” written down and wants the next book to go deeper into each one.
“I have about 50 to 60 written down. And that’s one of the things I want to challenge some of these societal lies so that at least it’ll get people to think. Even if you don’t agree with me.”
— Chris Paradiso
He plans to write it with the same team.
“I am so grateful and excited that I will be working on my next project with Scribe because the experience was just awesome. I’m just grateful. I almost feel like they’re friends now.”
— Chris Paradiso
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