Maranda Dziekonski's Saying the Hard Parts Out Loud Tells a Leadership Story With the Flaws Left In
“Write it for yourself first, because there’s something super cathartic in getting those words on the paper.”
Maranda Dziekonski, author of Saying the Hard Parts Out Loud
Maranda Dziekonski grew up in rural Michigan in a house that didn’t always have heat or running water. She moved west as a young single mom and became a chief customer officer in Silicon Valley, with more than twenty years building customer organizations. In Saying the Hard Parts Out Loud: Backbones, Boardrooms, and Graceful Exits, she tells that story with the flaws left in.
Not a success-only story
Clip · Maranda Dziekonski on why her story is not a success-only story · 34s
The book came together over about a decade, as people kept hearing her story and telling her to write it down. She cut a lot to keep it a business memoir, and kept the parts that don’t make her look good, like how she handled exiting a team member early in her career.
“I think that a lot of leaders like to portray themselves as this is a success only or maybe not intentionally, but they do portray themselves as this is a success only path. And the reality is, is that’s just not factual for a lot of us, including myself.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
The hardest part to keep was her relationship with her stepfather, the man she calls the old man in the book, her father figure since she was four.
“And I thought about taking it out and then I added it back in. So it was a lot of back and forth. But honestly, a lot of what makes me good at my job comes from him.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
Afraid, and moving anyway
Clip · Maranda Dziekonski on being afraid and moving anyway · 63s
Maranda went out on her own at 16 and a half, paying rent and working at a restaurant while she went to school. Later she moved to California with her son, knowing few people and knowing the cost of living was through the roof, because the opportunities were there.
“So that is a true example of being afraid, but still moving forward.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
“There’s nothing brave about it. Sometimes it’s your circumstances that you’re like, I have to change something and I’m going to just push through the fear.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
The same thinking runs through the book’s thread on graceful exits: when to leave a job, a room, or a relationship. She describes one executive role where she watched a very senior leader treat people poorly.
“But I also knew that if I didn’t either speak up or exit, I was becoming complicit.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
Earning her seat at the table
Clip · Maranda Dziekonski on earning her seat at the table · 42s
When she first came to Silicon Valley, she sat around tables with people who had degrees from Harvard and Stanford.
“But I would sit quietly because I didn’t think I had enough to add. I didn’t have that pedigree.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
Delivering her numbers helped. So did changing the story in her own head.
“We are all on this journey together and we’re all perfectly imperfect together.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
From the stage to the page
Clip · Maranda Dziekonski on going from the stage to the page · 64s
The first time Maranda showed a picture of the shack she grew up in was on a stage in London in 2022. The room went silent, and she thought she was bombing until people came up afterward. Writing it down was a different kind of exposure.
“It’s like whatever I put on paper, it’s going to be read in someone else’s voice. And I don’t know how they’re going to interpret everything. There’s something terrifying about that.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
Making the book surprised her too: cream or white paper, the photos, the cover, the bios. Then the box of books arrived, and friends started asking her to sign their copies.
“And I always thought, you know, it’s about putting words on paper, which it is. But there’s so much more to it than just putting words on paper.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
What she tells leaders sitting on their own hard story
Clip · Maranda Dziekonski on why to write it for yourself first · 18s
Maranda ranks her accomplishments plainly. Her son is first. Marrying her husband is second.
“And I think really close to number three is going to be this book because it’s quite a feat.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
For the leader who isn’t sure anyone wants to hear their story, her advice starts with writing it for yourself. Then comes the mindset for putting it out there.
“And then when you put it out there, the mindset is if you even help one or two people, that’s a win. And I guarantee there are one or two people out there that want to hear your story.”
— Maranda Dziekonski
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