Wealth Advisors Should Talk About Generosity

The following is adapted from The Generosity Conversation by Steve Lear.

Many affluent clients carry an unspoken weight: I have more than I need, but I’m not sure what I’m allowed to do with it.

Until generosity is discussed, that pressure leaks into everything associated with wealth. It shows up in risk tolerance, estate planning indecision, and reluctance to spend. Once a wealth advisor names generosity as a legitimate use of capital, something in the client often shifts. They see that money has a role beyond preservation.

These conversations usually don’t happen early. They show up later, once trust is established. In my experience, when they do, clients feel more aligned with their plans, advisors feel more engaged in the work, and the relationship deepens.

What I Learned From Disaster Relief

Conversations are one path toward helping clients see the value in generosity. Another path is to set an example.

In 1993, I was living in Minnesota and representing an insurance company headquartered in Des Moines, Iowa. That year, a flood devastated the city. I made a few calls and got connected with Barbara Sherman, whose packaging business had flooded. Three friends and I drove down for the day.

We joined about ten other volunteers at the warehouse. We got dirty, wet, and sore. But by the end of the day, it felt like we’d made a real difference. The Shermans were grateful, and we were just as grateful. They gave us the chance to help, and that mattered more than I expected.

When I got home, I created NECHAMA (Jewish Response to Disaster) with three other people who had tools. The name comes from the Hebrew word for comfort. In 1997, after flooding in Grand Forks, North Dakota, forty of us boarded a bus at midnight. We cleaned out the synagogue, donated $10,000 toward rebuilding, and repaired ten homes. NECHAMA soon became a national effort.

Most of what people lost in those disasters was eventually replaced. What stayed with me was the sense of community and the feeling of being useful. Supporting the work financially matters, but being present reshaped how I understand generosity.

Clients Notice How You Live

Clients pay attention to more than our recommendations. Over time, they notice what we participate in and what seems to matter to us. That awareness becomes part of trust.

When generosity comes up, a client will often ask, “What do you do?” It’s rarely a challenge. They want to know if the conversation is theoretical or grounded in your own experience. The tone shifts when generosity is something you understand from the inside rather than something you promote from a distance.

Your role here is less about direction and more about clarity. When a client expresses interest in giving, a simple question like “What does that look like right now?” can signal a turning point. You aren’t telling them what to do. You’re helping them recognize what they already know.

When generosity finds its way into the relationship, the work deepens for the client and the advisor alike.

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For more advice on bringing generosity into your client relationships, you can find The Generosity Conversation on Amazon.

Steve Lear is a financial advisor, educator, and generosity entrepreneur who has spent forty years helping people think differently about attitude, time, and money. As a founder of Affiance Financial, he has led a firm serving hundreds of clients. He is president of the Minnesota affiliate of the JumpStart Coalition for Financial Literacy. He was a founder of NECHAMA, Jewish Response to Disaster, which provides comfort and hope to communities by engaging volunteers in disaster recovery work. Steve is leading a movement, equipping advisors to guide clients beyond accumulation toward lives of intentional, impactful generosity with clarity and purpose.