Ninja Nguyen: Step On the Mat

Transcript

[0:00:24] RW: Hi, everyone. It’s Rae Williams, host of Author Hour, where I interview authors about their new books. Okay, our next guest, such an inspiring story and a wonderful person. He is Ninja Nguyen, author of Step On the Mat. He shares his life story and martial arts adventure with us beginning when he was a small child in Vietnam. He tells us a bit about his remarkable journey from his war-torn homeland to a refugee camp and finally to America, where he’s now the successful owner of a Boston dojo. More importantly, he shares how although the martial arts can be exciting and fun for young people, the valuable lessons found in the routines and rituals can bring joy and purpose to everything else you do in life. Here is our conversation with Ninja.

[0:01:12] Ninja Nguyen: Well, the reason why I wrote that book because I feel like you know, everybody have a different struggle in their life and I think a lot of time, we don’t look at the struggle that make us strong. And for me, as a martial artist, I’ve seen that daily life from parent to parent, to student, from young kid from two years old up to all the way to like 65 years old. So, I’ve seen the struggle to their life and I think for me, I know that when they come in, they already decide to want to be better. However, they need to find a way for them to be success in their journey as either martial arts or fitness or just spiritual journey.

[0:01:54] RW: All right, tell me a little bit about your journey with marital arts. How did you arrive to this place?

[0:02:00] Ninja Nguyen: Well, back when I was born in Vietnam, during the war, you know, my family, so basically, my family is a fisherman. They move town to town during the Vietnam war. At that time, my brothers, most of my brother, we 10 kid in the family, we have five boy and five girls. Usually, a boy, when you turn to the certain age, the communist at that time, they come over and they take your kid, it’s as the – basically, you have no right to volunteer yourself, they volunteer you. So, they come and pick you. So, you have a choice to be in the military or as a parent, they either move you to a place hide you, so by that way, you don’t work to be in the military. At that time, I have each day, I have a fortune to basically kind of see my brother and then next day, I don’t see my brother. So, as a young boy, I always question like, “what happened? Why do I see my brother?” As a young boy, I was curious, my dad don’t want to tell me where they smuggle my brothers. At that time, I didn’t really know and then the only way for them to kind of like put me in a place, keep me busy, so by the way, I don’t question them. So, you know, at that time, they brought me to a place at the martial art gym but it’s not really a gym, it’s like somebody’s backyard, you know? His house and then their backyard, they have like a studio. Basically, you just train in the dirt and there’s like an awning over. That’s about it. That’s how I discover what martial art was. But at that time, I wasn’t even thinking about growing older, become a martial artist, at that time, just like curious as a young boy and came into kind of learn to be more disciplined and kind of almost like a schedule each day, you have to have priorities, so by that way, keep you busy, not to ask questions.

[0:03:58] RW: What were some of the very first lessons that you began to take from martial arts, just even maybe without realizing them since you were a lot younger?

[0:04:07] Ninja Nguyen: As a martial art at that time, I learned how to punch and kicks, that’s for sure. But I learned to basically kind of like put your flexibility to a level that you normally don’t see yourself. And at that time, when I learn martial art, it wasn’t about like learning to be disciplined it was more like learning the sport. However, throughout a sport, you learn to either learn to have somebody hitting you hard to discipline you or it’s not the philosophy first, you know? It’s teaching you to punch first. Then throughout that, I learned just basically, throughout the day, it wasn’t like a long journey of each day, come in to be one day to be a teacher, you know? Just each day, come in, train and go home and then that’s about it. But over there, over when I was in my country, it was like, the martial art was more like for the health, it wasn’t like you know, for – to own a business one day, you know?

[0:05:08] RW: What is the one unique actionable punchline from your book, the bottom line, the message that you're driving home in your book that people can take action on? Based on what you’ve been through and based on your story?

[0:05:21] Ninja Nguyen: Well, I think on my book, I know for myself is that in life, you always have to do – you have a choice to choose in or choose out. That’s what I call usually like you know, when you step on a mat, it’s either you bow in to acknowledge that you’re going to train or you bow out because you’re not going to train. The way how the martial arts teach me was like, when you bow, you have to commit it where you're going to go and have to acknowledge that. I think a lot of time people, when they bow in, they don’t really – they choose in to do whatever it is but at the same time, they don’t know what they choose in for. It’s almost like, if I was to make a promise to you, I need to know what the promise is. I need to know what I’m going to deliver to you. I think a lot of times, people, they choose in, but they don’t choose in like as in a whole you know? They have to know why they choose in to and what the commitment they have to work on. It’s not about you are struggle or not because I think in life, you have to be struggle for you to really see where you are. And I think like, I talk a lot about – a lot of time, people, they are really good on hide their struggle and to a martial art, I believe in general, you should be able to show your struggle because, because you need to see that to see how great your accomplish is.

[0:06:44] RW: I love that. One really interesting thing about your book that I liked is that, even me, I don’t have much knowledge of my martial arts. When I look at your chapters, they’re all different aspects of training. So, bow, meditate, warm up, stretching, basics. How did you take those kinds of principles and apply them here in terms of those specific things like meditate for example?

[0:07:09] Ninja Nguyen: So, you know, for me, I think like, growing up, I have to tutor class, when they come to class, they always already implemented that in from beginning. For me, it’s really important to kind of like settle yourself, to know where you’re committed to. Each time, you know, I think a lot of times, people don’t – they wake up, let’s say they wake up in the morning. They don’t gratitude. You don’t’ have to close your eye to really meditate. Some people can be do for a walk, some people can read a book, some people can pray. It’s different way but I think a lot of time, people wake up, they right away, they don’t gratitude themselves, take a moment to breathe. For me, as a martial artist, you know, I recognize that because you throughout the training. You have to see yourself where you go, how you feel each day and how you’re going to start. Because I think the point is, you have to know where you are before you start your day. You know, whatever that struggle is. I think as a martial artist. I’ve seen that every single day, through parents, to myself and to kids, you know? I’ve seen that all the time.

[0:08:22] RW: So, what happens when people are not following the principles that martial arts kind of gives you to guide your life? And so, I know you talk about the kids that you teach as well but I’m sure you see it in some of the parents too. What happens when they’re not kind of reflecting the attitude and the principles that they should have?

[0:08:41] Ninja Nguyen: So, I use this a lot in my gym, you know? We have a mirror in my gym and I always tell everybody, “there’s a reason why we have a mirror. So, we can see ourselves to see what we need work on. Right.” It’s not about – it’s easy for us to point a finger to someone else, need work on but we will point ourselves. As a martial art, when you step on a mat, you will see that because you can’t not play a game. For example, let’s say if I was doing a sparring with you, let’s say me and you will fight and if I was cocky, and sooner or later, I will got hit by you. Because in life, I always believe that you have to learn the sport, even yourself, if you – let’s say you climb high, don’t forget the people around you who brought you up. It doesn’t matter, they have talent or not. Even they spend a little bit time with you. You have something that they empower you by. Training, you have to kind of like see that. It’s not about right or wrong, it’s about how would you empower the person around you? Your wife, your kids, your husband, your neighbor. I think that’s very important as a martial art, for me, I seen it every single day.

[0:09:59] RW: So, how did eventually coming to America, come into your story and how did that inform just your view of everything, your view on marital arts, the attitude that you had towards your life and your teaching?

[0:10:11] Ninja Nguyen: So, I’ll share with you a little bit about what I came to you as of course, there’s an opportunity that I see because when I was back home, you know, we was like basically walk around bare feet and I came over here , I seen the snow and I see nice building. You know, for me, in my family, we have like one big bed that everybody sleep on the bed, you know, one bed. Then you don’t have like, we have open windows, but we don’t have like window that have glasses. So, when I came to US, I’m like, “wow, that’s awesome opportunity.” And then you see high building and then I always feel like everybody’s rich over here. For me, I feel like I did not know the language and the only thing for me to really understand and communicate was what we call – what I call now is called silent language, okay? For me, as a silent language is that I have to communicate with somebody doing the same thing as me as a martial artist. I end up like, went to find a couple of gym that I seen and they punch, they throw a punch, they throw kicks and I’m familiar with, but I didn’t understand the language. That’s how I learned the language. The English language. Based on how they talk to each other from let’s say they throw a punch, they call fun punch, let’s say. So, that’s how I learn my language. But throughout that, I was more like coming over here, have a little bit talent, hard work to it. And then I seen the struggle to my life because I was as a martial artist, I was cocky, I was always have people around me who is martial artist that really good, that empower me to push harder. However, you know, for me, I lost a little bit because all I was looking for at that time was to be rich and to make a lot of money. But in that same time when I did that, I forgot one principle that as a true martial art always teach, was the character. How well you carry your character, how well you respect the other person. I didn’t really understand the concept and so through my struggle, when I rise up and what happened was, in a short period of time, I make so much money but at the same time, I look down, I didn’t respect certain people. And then what happen? I crash. When I crash, I realized that you know, as a martial artist, when you’re in to the time in your life that was like dark, nobody around, you, everybody who was saying that they’re your friend and then they end up, you find out they’re not your friend, you know? Then you realize you have two choices, okay? You either change your life or keep doing the same thing. And I always feel like you don’t have that time I was living in Boston and I met my wife and I remember she said this to me, she said, “you know, we need to change because you’re not going to change until we move.” So, we move somewhere, to Arizona and my life did not change, even I moved the environment. But reality wasn’t the environment I need to change, it was me I need to change. Then at that time, I invest in 2008, I remembered this as when I lost everything. You know, when you make fast money, things come back to you really fast and then the only thing that really changed my life make me who I am today now, it was one person that came into my life was 2008, my daughter came. It was like August 2008, she came, I was broke between my wife and I, I was like, “oh my god, I don’t know what I’m doing.” And I look at this face, was born and all she have was love, compassions, creativity, everything you ever seen in this baby. I look at myself and I said, “what happened to me? I can’t be the person that has take care of this person and I can’t live the life that lying or making fast money and don’t care about anybody beside myself.” And then you know, I go back to Boston 2009 and my wife asked me. She said, “you know if you go back there you’re going to be the same person when I first met you.” I said, “no I am going to make a promise to you that you are going to see me change” and then when I came back, I didn’t have any money. I remember when I gave people the opportunity, people turned around didn’t give me the opportunity because I have talent. I have all of that but at the same time I ended up didn’t have a place to stay and went to one of my students and his name was Pat Mathew and I was teaching for him just to help out so by that way, I can have a place to hang out and do that. And then you know I helped him and then I remember my life within six months has changed. My wife was like she came back to me and she said, “I want to be with you.” And then at that time, a short period of time I believe this and this is what I have seen in me. In any relationship in yourself, if you do not have success with yourself, your own family, your business would not be a success and I do believe that. I do believe that because I have seen it in me. In a short period of time my wife came back and so when my wife back, I have my second daughter and then throughout that process my life was and I even named my daughter, the first one was Patience. The second one her name was Harmony and I remember my life was all going on so high. That is like I accomplish everything and my wife came back, my life was amazing and then at that time when everything was going rise and then God just tested me one thing was that they took my dad and mom away. And my son came and that is why I named my son Sky because I always believed that in life no matter what happens, you always look up because you should plow where you stand and you should be get support all around you, people supported you. And the people who supported that day in day out, that be with you knowing that they keep what they say to you that they would be there for you and supported you. And that’s why I always believe that you can be success, but if you look down on people you will fail.

[0:16:48] RW: So that is – I mean that whole journey is just incredible and all the bits and pieces of it. What do you think throughout all of this is the most important and even in martial arts too, the most important principle, the most important thing that someone can take that you took with you throughout this whole journey?

[0:17:08] Ninja Nguyen: I have like the five moral things that I always live up to and the five rule that we have is effort. No matter what you do, you got to give a 100% effort. And the etiquette that no matter who you be with, who you spend time with, you got to be give that person and yourself etiquette. And then the character and I am not talking about making a lot of money. I am talking about the character of how you portray yourself to how you look up to, how do you want your neighbor, your family, you wife can be proud standing next to you and say, “wow, he’s got a great character.” And then the most important than anything is the sincere. How well you treat each other with sincere. And I think as a martial artist, you know a lot of times people coming to and then they would say something. For example, I tell you okay take a class, but I am not sincere to support you the whole journey. If you come into my life, number one I have to be grateful because you give me permission to be with you or hang out with you or even now, you know we’re talking and you give me sincere of your time. So, I have to be sincere to give you the same. And then I think the last one I think we all forgot to is the self-control and I am not talking about self-control by hitting someone or anything. I am talking about how your behavior like if somebody and I say this a lot in my book too is like, “what if somebody cut you on the highway, how would you react?” What if somebody is walking by you, they bump into you how would you react? Because you have to understand where that person is coming from before you even lose that. And I think throughout martial arts, you have the opportunity to practice that day in day out every single day. And I think you cannot really put into action or practice better if you are not into the environment that you practice and then you can implement. And I think as a martial artist, for me you implement that every single day because you spar with the other teammate. You work, you do self-defense or you communicate with the other person. You have to make sure that they don’t have injuries, so by that way you are not hurting them on how you control them so throughout that. And then I think the big concept that I use too, the other one is that we use all the time is that the four step. What we do is what we call the attention stand. And I always teach a student I say that what the attention stand teach is that we teach focus and then when you bow, what does bow teach? Respect. And then ready stand is ready to take actions and then we do the other one we call the fighting stand. It is what we call the commitment stand. So those stands a lot of times people say it, but they don’t apply it. In my gym, the student will recycle that and then we apply it and then we test it because when you test it, it is almost like if you read something to me, if I take the information and if I don’t write down that is not really as great memory as just if I just listen to you, I don’t have a 100% of the word, the definition, the meaning behind that. So, as a martial artist, you do that day in day out, day in day out. And I always tell everybody that martial arts or fitness is almost like you’re dating someone. How much would you want to put the time in if you put two days in, how would you get that out in relationship and in martial arts, is the relationship with you. How would you put your time in to meditate? Would you want to do five minutes? Would you want to do stretching? So that is why the concept of why I wrote the book, it is the way it is that that is how the concept was.

[0:21:08] RW: Right, so if you have to then give other people, so readers or our listeners right now or you parents of your students or your students themselves a challenge. So, one thing they can do from your book, your expertise to change their life, what would that be?

[0:21:25] Ninja Nguyen: I would say the biggest thing is whatever they do they need to understand what they committed to and why? And I think a lot of times they need to understand why it is important to them and what’s important? Why they do it and what is important to them because I think each one of us like what I have I believe everybody has. I wanted the same thing as everybody. I love compassion, respect and excitement and I think I can name a bunch of them. But I think I want the same thing as everybody wants and I don’t think this were I think everybody is smart. However, I think that a lot of times each one of us is that when we fall into struggle, then we understand what we needed. And I think a lot of times, this day and I remember for my country coming over here is that I didn’t have money in my pocket. We don’t even eat like we eat breakfast, dinner. That was it and throughout the middle of the day we have maybe fruit. Coming here and I think a lot of times what people do is that they have a tendency to spend so much money on other things, but they don’t spend money on themselves. What I mean is that they want to put money in the bank, but they don’t want to put the money in themselves to take care of their health, take care of the people that they love and everybody wants to live forever, but they don’t want to do that and I think for me as a martial artists, the book – My book, the way I wrote the book is that for people to see like the clue. When you read my book, it is just a clue for you, whatever you see it. And then you can hopefully, my hope is that people understand it and then they can use themselves. They don’t have to use martial arts to really understand that, but if they read the book, they can do any other sport and I believe that we do the same thing. For example, it is just like one thing that my book was talking about bow. We do that every single day. Somebody cutting in, you either let them go in or either you don’t let them go in, but the choice that you have to make you have to understand that. In my book it is just the way how I see myself and I see like people that I have been in power and people that I look up to and as you want to give that concept for people to understand that’s all.

[0:23:48] RW: All right, awesome. So how can people contact you if they want to learn more and of course they will definitely pick up the book but how can we get in touch with you?

[0:23:56] Ninja Nguyen: Well they can go on my website. It is extremeninja.com.

[0:24:06] RW: All right, awesome. Well thank you so much.

[0:24:08] Ninja Nguyen: Thank you very much, I appreciate you.

[0:24:12] RW: Okay, don’t know about you guys but effort, etiquette, character and being sincere and grateful definitely a game changer. I can’t wait to have his book in my hands and it is available right now on amazon.com. So, check it out and as always, we’ll be back with another author and their new book next time on Author Hour.